Lionised but cast aside: Alex eyes up Brazil return after eight years in Turkey

“I’ve never cried as much as I did this week,” he sighed as the camera bulbs flashed. He won’t have been the only one. After a fruitful eight-year romance, Brazilian playmaker Alex finalised his departure from Fenerbahçe this week, leaving fans in Turkey to lament the loss of one of its biggest sporting stars.

I've written about Alex's legacy at Fener, as well as his possible destinations in Série A, for the folks over at A Football Report. Click here to read the article.

A message from the (new) king

Oh, hello there. It seems you've caught me in my full rhinestone glory. How careless of me to leave my dressing room door ajar. I cannot stop to explain myself just now, but I will leave you with an oblique instruction. If you like this kind of nonsense, click on the image when the clock strikes eleven on the night of a full moon. I dare you.

The First Gringo

Before Clarence Seedorf, before Diego Forlán, before Pablo Forlán even, there was Julien Fauvel. A coffee merchant by trade, the Frenchman blazed a trail for foreign players in the Brazilian game, appearing in the very first Santos side in 1913.

I've written a short article on Fauvel for In Bed With Maradona, which you can read by clicking here.

Brazilian Youngsters Play Name Game... And Lose

What’s in a name? It depends which country you’re in. In Brazil, the answer is commonly 'hilarity'. Nowhere is this better demonstrated than at the Copa São Paulo (known colloquially as the Copinha), the country’s premier youth football tournament. This year’s competition boasted some of the most improbable monikers ever to grace the football world. 

First came the nicknames. Culinary triumvirate Bananinha (little banana), Salsicha (sausage) and Marcelo Pastel (Marcelo pastry) were early pace-setters, but were soon usurped in the improbability stakes. Pangaré (mule) established himself as a contender, but he too was quickly blown out of the water by an 18-year-old from João Pessoa. Whoever decided that Thiago Alves de Sousa should be known as Bactéria is both heartless and an absolute genius.

Elsewhere, given names reflected the Brazilian obsession with Anglophone (and particularly American) culture. Among the savage transliterations of of English names were Jeyson, Jhon Cley, Valkenedy and Walis. Head and shoulders above all comers in this subgroup, however, was the immaculately named Olliver Gulliver of Atlético Acreano.

Other names were notable simply for their disrespect for linguistic norms. The likes of Anykson, Deusdante, Edjostenes, Gilmarx, Hukerlysson, Jaiellyson, Kerlyson, Nickthiell, Swillames, Wberlan and Weriklleyes look bad enough in English, but (trust me on this) are utter monstrosities in Portuguese. It took me a good few minutes to work out how to even pronounce Wberlan.

The Copinha did, however, highlight the esteem in which football legends (both Brazilian and European) are held. Charles Miller, the man who introduced the game to Brazil in 1894, now has a 17-year-old namesake playing for Fortaleza, whilst Americano-MA boasted a Roberto Baggio in their squad. The tournament also stood out for its 15 Romários (or Romarinhos), one of whom is the son of old baixinho himself.

Finally, we come to the best category of all: misspelt names. This year’s Copa São Paulo included touching tributes to Dutch legends Frank Rijkaard and Ruud Gullit. The resulting names – Raikard and Rudigullithi – are nothing if not loveably erroneous. The icing on the cake, however, came in the shape of Cruzeiro youngster Lynneeker. I’ll let you work that one out.


Versions of this article appeared in FourFourTwo magazine and on The Guardian's Sport Network blog.

Forward Thinking: Why Leandro Damião Would Shine at Spurs

Continually linked with a move to the Premier League over the last year, Leandro Damião is undoubtedly one of the most sought-after youngsters currently playing in the Campeonato Brasileiro. The striker, who caught the eye with a series of commanding displays for Brazil in the Olympic Games, has already attracted two multi-million pound offers from Tottenham Hotspur, who remain hopeful of reaching a deal with Internacional.

With so much speculation surrounding Damião's future, I've written a profile of him for Unibet. Therein, I discuss his impact in Brazil, and argue that his robust style makes him perfectly suited to the English game. You can find the piece here.

History Repeating: Brazil's Olympic Hoodoo Continues

A handful of thrilling prospects. The world's best centre-back. A favourable run to the final. Fifteen goals in five games. Wembley a sea of yellow, green and blue. A fifty year hoodoo begging to be brought to an end. And then... nothing.

Brazil's Olympic campaign ended in thoroughly disappointing style on Saturday, when a ruthless Mexico side upset the odds to take the gold medal.

I've written a short piece about the game and Brazil's shortcomings for When Saturday Comes. You can read the article by clicking here.

Captive Audience: On the Kidnapping of Jorge Valdivia

When Palmeiras midfielder Jorge Valdivia and his wife were kidnapped in June, the reaction in Brazil was bizarrely mixed. Whilst the vast majority expressed their sympathy with the player and his family, a vocal few bought into the notion that the Chilean had invented the incident in order to facilitate a move a way from Brazil. He wouldn't be the first to attempt such a deception: then-Botafogo defender Somália was proven to have lied to police over a similar claim in 2011. 

I've written an article about the Valdivia case - and the issue of kidnapping in Brazilian football more generally - for the latest issue of When Saturday Comes. The magazine is available at all good (and probably some mediocre) newsagents. Alternatively, you can purchase a digital edition or subscribe to the WSC iPhone/iPad app.