The greatest game you've never heard of: Grêmio, Náutico and the madcap warfare of the Batalha dos Aflitos

71 seconds. 71 seconds is all it will take.

At the start, it will feel like the world is ending. It will very nearly look like it too, what with the smoke and the riot police and the baying hordes. At the end... well, the world-ending thing will apply then too, actually. But a fuzzy sunshine-glow will have conquered that hollow, slow-burn dread that moments earlier had set up camp in the depths of your stomach.

You will worry, once the dust has settled, that people won't believe you when you tell them that the impossible happened. But they'll have to, because it did.

My piece about the Batalha dos Aflitos – the most ludicrous football match you've never heard of – is in the latest edition of the American football magazine Howler. You can buy a copy or subscribe here.

Porto Alegre giants Internacional facing up to life in the second flight after year to forget on and off the pitch

2006 was a high watermark in the history of Sport Club Internacional. The side from Porto Alegre won the Copa Libertadores for the first time and, just before Christmas, came to global attention by beating Barcelona in the final of the Club World Cup.

Under normal circumstances, the tenth anniversary of that golden year would have prompted a fresh wave of celebration; Brazilian clubs rarely need an excuse to hark back to past glories, after all.

But few fans had much time for the commemorative medals and sticker books that hit the market in 2016, for Inter endured an annus horribilis both on and off the pitch.

You can read about their plight in the February edition of When Saturday Comes magazine, which is available in newsagents and on their website.

Brasileirão 2016 end-of-season awards

The delayed final round of the Brazilian season was a touching, tearful affair. Up and down the country, tributes were paid to the victims of the tragic plane crash that claimed the lives of 19 Chapecoense players, plus other club employees and members of the press, in Colombia last month.

Most teams wore special kits bearing Chape's logo; some even broke with tradition and wore green for the occasion. In every stadium, the stands were full of flags and banners showing support for the stricken Santa Catarina club.

It was a heartening display of solidarity and understandably overshadowed events on the pitch. In the longer term, 2016 will always be remembered as Chapecoense's year.

It feels slightly vulgar to dish out awards in the wake of such events, but that's what I've done for WhoScored, choosing my player of the year, breakout star and so on. 

Inter the abyss: Struggling Internacional in need of a miracle as first ever relegation beckons

It wasn't meant to be this way for Internacional. Their opening eight matches of the Brasileirão season yielded 19 points – enough to take them to head of the table, three points clear of the chasing pack. A good season looked in prospect.

Since then, however... well, you could only really call it a disaster. Inter went on a 14-game winless run, sacked three managers and, with two seasons of the season remaining, find themselves in the relegation zone.

They have never been relegated from Brazil's top flight, but the Colorado now need a miracle – or a couple of them – if they're to avoid demotion on the weeks ahead. Read about their situation in my latest for WhoScored.

Flamengo may be homeless, but they can smell another Brazilian title with 'Ricardiola' at the helm

They haven't been able to play matches at the Maracanã all year, due to the Olympics and Paralympics. But that has not stopped Flamengo feeling right at home wherever they have travelled this term.

For with brilliant former youth team coach Zé Ricardo in the dugout, the Rubro-Negro have captured the hearts and minds of Fla fans throughout Brazil, many of whom have flocked to see them in 'home' games in São Paulo, Brasília and Natal.

Palmeiras continue to set the pace in Série A but there is a growing feeling that the Rio giants might just be able to overhaul them to secure an unexpected title. As their supporters would have it, the 'cheirinho de hepta' is in the air.

In my latest for WhoScored, I take a look at Flamengo's surge and Zé Ricardo's ability to squeeze performances out of previously unloved players.

Four is the magic number as Robinho, Fred, Maicosuel and Pratto drag Atlético Mineiro into title contention

Someone in Brazilian football needs to put a call in to De La Soul and break the news: the results are in and – for now at least – four, not three, is very much the magic number.

That's certainly the case for the Brazil men's team at the Olympics. After watching his charges slump to back-to-back goalless draws against South Africa and Iraq, coach Rogério Micale decided that enough was enough and decided to play all of his forwards – Neymar, Gabriel Jésus, Luan and Gabriel 'Gabigol' Barbosa – against Denmark, Colombia and Honduras. The outcome? Three victories and 12 goals scored, some of them stunners.

But it's not just at international level that four is the law. In the Brasileirão, which naturally hasn't paused for the Olympics, Atlético Mineiro have rocketed up the standings courtesy of their storied fantastic four: Fred, Robinho, Maicosuel and Lucas Pratto.

Read my latest for WhoScored here.

Pace, pressing and pig emojis: Palmeiras setting the pace in Série A thanks to Cuca's modern methods

It was the morning after World Emoji Day, so the headline was rather more oblique than usual.

Beneath a photo of a jubilant Erik, sports daily Lance! had printed a number of symbols that told the story of Sunday's Internacional vs Palmeiras match. Some – a Brazilian flag, a thumbs-up, a smiley face – did not require Columbo-level acts of decryption: even those not versed in the local football scene would have been able to work out that the away side had picked up a useful victory.

It was the remaining pictures that really spelt out the significance of the result, however. There was the number 32, representing Palmeiras' points tally after 15 games of the Brasileirão season. That is three more than anyone else in the division; they have now been at the summit at the end of the last seven rounds. Early days these may be, but the trophy emoji could be getting a few more outings in these circles over the next few months.

Then there was the number 19 with a cross through it, which – investigative journalism alert – isn't actually an existing emoji. But we should probably allow some artistic licence here to mark the end of one of Brazilian football's most dogged hoodoos: this was the first time the São Paulo giants had beaten Inter at the Beira-Rio since 1997. No wonder the little pig emoji (an allusion to a once-pejorative nickname that Palmeiras fans have made their own) looked especially pleased with itself.

The rest of this article, about Palmeiras and their excellent campaign so far, is on the WhoScored blog. Have a read here.

The joy of six: Dominant Corinthians enjoy their victory lap after sealing sixth Brazilian title

As victory laps go, this will take some beating.

A derby match against your most bitter, most ideological rivals. Two goals in the space of three first-half minutes, then another before the interval. A laughable, playground-kick-about fourth that left opposition defenders slumped inside their own penalty area, dreaming of the bus ride home. An own goal forced, a penalty converted – and then one saved from the other lot. And all that with a reserve team.

This was not a normal game and this no normal Corinthians side, as their fans well know. 45,000 of them crowded into the Itaquerão for the game against hated neighbours São Paulo, but even the most optimistic cannot have expected the massacre that awaited.

It was an afternoon that had begun with chants of "É campeão!" and ended in tears - of emotion, but also of laughter at the sheer state of the São Paulo side tasked with ruining the party. The Timão had sewn their sixth national title up three nights earlier with a shrug of a draw away to Vasco, but that had been a non-event. This was a celebration.

Read my article on the new Brazilian champions on the WhoScored site.

Porto (Mais) Alegre: Roger Machado brings the joy back to Grêmio after the drudgery of Luiz Felipe Scolari's reign

There was a moment during Sunday's game against Santos that, more than any other, underlined Grêmio's impressive recent progress. Deep into the second half, striker Yuri Mamute – a substitute, as he has been for much of the season so far – found a bit of space inside the area and slid a finish between the legs of Vanderlei to put his side into a 3-1 lead. To celebrate, he eschewed the now-default group-prayer routine to sprint over to the Grêmio dugout to enjoy the moment - not with his teammates but with his coach.

Roger Machado has been a breath of fresh air at the Porto Alegre club since taking over at the end of May. Under his guidance, the Tricolor players have grown in belief, clawing their way up the Brasileirão table courtesy of a series of impressive results.

It is all a far cry from what went before. Luiz Felipe Scolari's reign had begin in promising fashion after the World Cup, with Grêmio staggeringly frugal in defence and capable of nicking matches with a single goal. But progress slowed in the latter stages of 2014 and ground to a halt earlier this year during an underwhelming Campeonato Gaúcho campaign.

Read my latest article for WhoScored here.

Zito tributes and derby win over Corinthians provide respite for a Santos side in flux

Last Saturday was, by and large, a pretty special day for Santos. That was partly down to the fixture list: the Peixe welcomed Corinthians to the Vila Belmiro. This is one of the standout games of the year for Santos fans, for whom this rivalry is keenly felt. There's always a spark to the San-São games with São Paulo, while Palmeiras are perennial enemies, but no side stands in such stark opposition to the seasiders as the rabble from Parque São Jorge.

But the game was leant extra meaning by the passing, six days earlier, of a club legend. Zito may not be a household name in Europe – not these days, at least – but arguably only Pelé has made a more significant mark on the fortunes of Santos over the years.

Against Corinthians, the Santos players wore special jerseys with ‘Obrigado Zito’ on the back and his face lovingly emblazoned on the front. The captain’s armband bore not the letter ‘C’ but a ‘Z’, a nice, subtle touch that the club say will become a permanent tribute to their former skipper. All it needed was a victory to round off a memorable day and the current crop of players obliged with a 1-0 win.

In truth, this was, to some extent, a welcome distraction for Santos, for whom the last few months have been fairly fraught. Read my latest for WhoScored here.

Underdog Day Afternoon: Atlético-PR, Ponte Preta & Sport thriving in the early madness of the Brazilian season

The Brazilian season is but six games old and already there is a feeling of familiarity to the proceedings. Not because the table is beginning to take shape in any predictable way – of which more in just a moment – but rather because of an all-too-familiar malaise in the division's dugouts.

It started with Luiz Felipe Scolari, sacked by Grêmio after two weeks of the campaign. Fluminense binned Ricardo Drubscky just a day later, before Flamengo axed Vanderlei Luxemburgo. Then came a whole week of respite, followed by four dismissals in a week. Marcelo Oliveira got the chop despite having guided Cruzeiro to back-to-back titles. Hemerson Maria and Marquinhos Santos paid for shaky starts with Joinville and Coritiba respectively. Then, on Tuesday, Palmeiras lost patience with Oswaldo de Oliveira.

So here we are, six games into the season and with seven managerial heads having rolled. It's like Game of Thrones, only far less interesting and with more defensive tactics.

Luckily, there have been some chinks of light amid the gloom. While the likes of Cruzeiro, Santos and Grêmio have floundered in the opening weeks, a number of less celebrated sides have taken the chance to stake a claim in the upper echelons of the table.

In my latest for WhoScored, I look at the surprise packages of the season thus far. 

Vanderlei Luxemburgo the fall guy as the old world and new austerity collide at Flamengo

Vanderlei Luxemburgo is not a man who tends to mince his words. One of Brazilian football's truculent old guard, he has built a fine - if increasingly nomadic - career on a willingness to ruffle feathers. For example, a sample quote, delivered to an underperforming player in training: "You're a s***. You're poor. I own three aeroplanes."

It was no surprise, then, that Luxemburgo cut loose on Tuesday after his dismissal by early Brasileirão strugglers Flamengo on Monday night. "20 days ago, when São Paulo wanted to hire me, the president said I was a fundamental part of his plans," sighed the 63-year-old. "The board like to win prizes and appear in the New York Times, but they don't know anything about football."

Luxemburgo's outburst could be read as a lament for the big spending that characterised his last stint at the club. The kind of spending that Flamengo have phased out since former economist Eduardo Bandeira de Mello took the reins in 2013.

Read the rest of this post on the WhoScored blog.

Continuity the key for Cruzeiro, Brazilian champions for the second year running

The Campeonato Brasileiro, to bastardise that neat Gary Lineker aphorism, is a simple championship. 20 teams slog away for the best part of a year and in the end, Cruzeiro win.

It wasn’t always thus, of course: the Belo Horizonte side’s dominance is a relatively unusual phenomenon for a league that usually prides itself on the fact that pretty much any one of 12 or so teams could take the title in any given year. Yet for the first time since São Paulo’s reign of terror between 2006 and 2008, one side looks to be establishing something of a dynasty.

Key to Cruzeiro’s success this term was that most rare of commodities in Brazilian football: continuity. Forward-thinking coach Marcelo Oliveira stayed put following the 2013 title, as did the vast majority of his key players: Éverton Ribeiro, last season’s player of the year, resisted overtures from Europe, while Lucas Silva and Ricardo Goulart also stuck around.

Read the rest of this article on the WhoScored site.

Meet the new guy, just like the old guy: Brazil's clubs hark back to the past in search of success

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Fantastic four begin to click for São Paulo

Of all the sides in the Campeonato Brasileiro, none contains more recognisable faces – to European football fans, at least – than São Paulo FC. There's Álvaro Pereira, the Uruguayan wing-back, on the left flank. Former Arsenal midfielder Denílson sits in front of the back four, sniffing out danger and, yes, playing five-yard sideways passes. Luís Fabiano plunders goals and collects red cards like they're going out of fashion. Then there's Rogério Ceni, the goalscoring goalkeeper, who is something of a cult figure in some circles.

Really, though, the team's true star power lies in an attacking quartet that has begun to light up the division in recent weeks. In Kaká, Paulo Henrique Ganso, Alan Kardec and Alexandre Pato, São Paulo could well have found their very own fantastic four, a combination capable of taking them into next season's Libertadores, if not a sustained title challenge (you win again, Cruzeiro).

Read the rest of this piece on the WhoScored website.

Corinthians cry foul after embarrassing state championship elimination

With the four big sides of the São Paulo region arbitrarily kept apart in separate groups in the new-fangled state championship (don’t ask), progress to the next round was expected to be a formality. After all, even under the old system – which admittedly only lasted four years – not once had any of the big guns failed to make the knockout stages.

But Corinthians have never been a team to shy away from an early-season crisis. They went into the weekend in danger of becoming the first high-profile side to come unstuck in this year’s truncated estaduais, sitting third in their section behind Botafogo-SP and Ituano.

Qualification was not out of reach, but it was out of their hands. To stay in contention heading into the final round of the group stage, the Timão needed to avoid defeat against Penapolense on Sunday and then hope for a favour from bitter rivals São Paulo, 3-2 winners in the clássico a week earlier.

Read the rest of this piece on Yahoo! Eurosport's Rio Report blog.

A bad case of the Flu: Deposed champions Fluminense fighting for their lives

A year ago last week, Fluminense beat Palmeiras to lift their fourth Brazilian title. If the occasion felt a little flat, it was only because the success had long had an air of inevitability about it: spurred on by the relentless goalscoring of Fred and guided by Abel Braga’s steady hand, the Tricolor simply ground down their closest rivals, Atlético Mineiro and Grêmio.

“They're a good team, an organised team,” said former Brazil striker Tostão, now a respected newspaper columnist, at the time. “Flu know how to win. They don't lose focus and they don't try to be better than they are.”

But things have gone pear-shaped this year. As the end of the season approaches Fluminense sit just one point above the relegation zone, a winless October having plunged them from midtable mediocrity into a frantic battle for survival. They have three games to avoid becoming the first club to be demoted a year after winning Série A.

Read the rest of my latest Yahoo! Eurosport column here.

Silver surfers: Why finishing second in Série A would be a great achievement for Botafogo

The Brazilian championship used to be decided by a final. Every season ended with the kind of play-off system that would be immediately familiar to fans of American sports, meaning a team that finished as low as eighth in the actual league stage could walk away with the title.

That system lasted until 2003, when the system of pontos corridos (literally 'running points') was finally adopted. It didn't please everyone. Many still yearn for the end-of-season excitement the play-offs provided, while there have also been concerns over the possibility of clubs screwing over their rivals in the final rounds of a league season if they have nothing to play for themselves.

In my latest WhoScored column, I reflect on last week's (sorry for the tardiness) de facto Série A final between Cruzeiro and Botafogo and argue that even second place would be a super achievement for the later.

Click here to have a read.

Brazilian football digest: August

It was quite a month for Atlético Paranaense. Having returned to the top flight after a year in the doldrums, the Hurricanes were probably not expecting to be in the title race at the midway point of the season. But there they are after a stupidly, implausibly good August.

My monthly round-up for Betting Expert also includes Andrés D'Alessandro, a stunning goal by Éverton Ribeiro and plenty more besides. Read it here.

Cruzeiro continue to impress as Belo Horizonte bandwagon rolls on

They may not like it on the bronze beaches of Rio, in São Paulo’s office blocks and in the proud alehouses of Porto Alegre, but Brazilian football has a new epicentre. Since the turn of the year, Belo Horizonte has become the place to be on planet futebol.

First there was the reopening of the historic Mineirão stadium, the spiritual home of the game in the city, after World Cup renovation work that lasted the best part of three years. Without their usual home, Belo Horizonte’s big two – Atlético Mineiro and Cruzeiro – were forced to host matches in neighbouring towns Sete Lagoas and Uberlândia, with predictable consequences for attendance figures.

Atlético have latterly settled in América-MG’s cosy Independência ground, but Cruzeiro immediately reaped the rewards of returning to the Mineirão, embarking on a staggering run of form that saw them win 17 of their first 19 games of 2013.

Read the rest of this article on the WhoScored wesbite here.